Shine on, you crazy diamond

Really? I'm not even sure. Tempers rise, defense is taken, things get left unsaid. What is really important anymore? Is it time or quality? And what if you're not getting either? I wish I weren't so high-maintenance, maybe then I'd be more understanding. Or maybe I need to find my own things to do. Maybe I didn't sign up for this. Maybe, I just expected something different. And expectations are the killer - we should just lay it all on the line before we start. Listen, so and so, I expect this from you, can you deliver? No, ok, I'm out. Yes, well, then lets start something. And it's easy to forget about the little things, 4 years in and you are just going about your business. You don't remember to do those little things that made the start so special, and the other person is to blame too. It's no ones fault, but who's to stop the madness and make things right before it goes too far. You? him? All I know now is that I miss the run-jump-hug. The gazelle. All the time we took for ourselves. Maybe things always get like this, with all couples, and I'm just taking it too hard. But I miss the old us, with our tight bond and the love that outshone all the diamonds in the world. Why did it have to fade? Can we get it back?

Jump Start

Quick, does anyone have some jumper cables I can borrow? No, my car is just fine. It's me; I'm the one in need of a jump start.

That herb garden I want to build - hasn't been done, except for an idea of what I want. Those paints in your closet that have been packed away since *GASP* November! when I moved in - untouched. That cute little chalk board that I saw on a blog that I have coveted and want to make for myself - just a twinkle in my eye. The Florida room needs new curtains, paint and some rearranging - that I need help with, but it still needs to be done.

I can't figure out why I can't get myself going. Do I need my own space to create? Does the dreaded TV suck me in and steal my ambition?

I'm gonna start with making goals for myself and writing them here, out in the world, so that I have to follow through.

First, let's start with making a space to do these things. Once the Florida room is finished I will get an art table in there to keep my things and create a space for myself. Next, let's make that chalk board so I can write down what my next project will be and keep me focused.

That's enough for now - I will keep you posted on how things are going and report back here. I'll even post pictures of my projects and keep the blog updated.
This should be fun!

Positive Vibrations

My energy as of late has not been positive. I'm not exactly sure what's caused this shift from very high to kinda low, but I have to remember to keep a positive outlook on everything. It's easy to get caught up in the "He didn't do this," "she does this," "I can't believe this happened" thoughts that spin in my head.
When I was younger I used to read books of positive affirmations; just little sayings that are supposed to lift your spirits. Some days I would read pages of the books until I found one that fit, other days I would read the first page I opened to and keep that affirmation for the day. I haven't done this in years (although, I still do own these books), but i think it's time to whip them out.
I think I forget that positive thoughts breed a positive outlook and create a good energy in your world.
I'm in need of some reinforcement now, because really, who wants to be around a whiner? And that's how I feel right now. boo hoo.